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Dear Mandi
My boyfriend has recently left me. He said he wasn't happy anymore, but I thought we were happy & I am really surprised he has said this. He won't talk about it & he wont take my calls. I am really unhappy & can't stop cying. My friends said I must try & get over him, but I don't want to, I just want him back. What can I do.
Jane, Beverley
Dear Jane
I am so sorry to hear that your boyfriend has left you so suddenly & without explanation. As he refuses to take your calls to discuss what has happened must make the breakup even harder to take. Unfortunately, you can't make him talk to you. As difficult as it may seem, try to accept this, as you are using too much energy trying to get an answer to something you may never get. Try instead to use that energy to begin working on yourself. Look at your good points & strengths, surround yourself with positive friends & begin working towards building your confidence & self esteem. Take each day at a time & reward yourself with small treats every day for trying hard at moving forward.
Good Luck, Mandi
Dear Mandi
I have borrowed my friend some money some months ago & now I need it back as I have some bills to pay. The thing is she keeps saying she can't afford to give me it back, yet she goes out every weekend. She just says she will pay me back soon, but doesn't, I am getting really annoyed now though. How do I get her to pay me back the money she owes without ruining our friendship?
Julie, Hull
Dear Julie
I feel your friend may be taking you for granted here. It may be that she seems she can treat you like this as you are not able to be assertive about your needs. If you feel you can't face her to discuss this, write her a letter stating clearly that you were good enough to loan her the money but it's about time she begun paying you back. You don't say how much she owes you but if its a fair bit then perhaps ask for a certain amount each week until the debt has been cleared. If she is a good friend she will agree to pay the money back & be apologetic about her behaviour. If she makes a fuss & tries to make you feel guilty, then maybe you need to re-address this friendship. Real friends don't take their friends for granted & put them in such a position like she has for you. Stand firm & get back what is owing to you.
Good Luck, Mandi